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THE BOOK OF TURNER
This is an account of our time spent dwelling in the land of Zarahemla.
Chapter 1
1. And it came to pass that we did according as my Father had counseled us. And we departed out of the land of West Jordan and into the wilderness, as many as would hearken unto the invitation of my parents; and they were led by a desire to bring us all together under one roof. The reason in which they selected Zarahemla was for its great capacity to hold us all. We were led by the power of map quest, through the wilderness until we came down into the land which is called the Camp Zarahemla.
2. And we discovered our family there, who were called Taintors, Taintors the younger, and also Rodgers. Now, there was great rejoicing among the people in Zarahemla because we had all made our journey without much tribulation.
3. Now it came to pass that our group was exceedingly large; for it did number twenty and one. It would have only numbered twenty except that Mystery did bring a friend to tarry with us. Now the number of our adults were 8; children 10; and babies 3. It may appear to some that this number is not that exceedingly large; I would like to say to one that offers such opinion that we were all to sleep under the same roof; in one large room.
Chapter 2
1. Now it came to pass that upon our arrival we began to make preparations for dinner. After the multitude was fed with the tin foil dinners; we spent much time visiting one with another as the kids ran around like unto the wild Lamanites.
2. Now it came to pass that as the hour waxed late we decided we had better attempt to put our young ones to bed. This was the beginning of our many tribulations in the land of Zarahemla.
3. Now it had been made known to us earlier that day that Gabriel had an ear infection. We had brought medicine with which to give him; however it had not began to work in easing his pain.
3. Now it came to pass that the task of laying the kids to sleep was exceedingly difficult. They were all exhausted from their riotous play nevertheless they were too excited to sleep.
4. It came to pass that Uncle Ryan darkened the room until it was exceedingly dark. He then fastened his
Poi stick to his hands and began to swing them round about. This caused a great sleepiness to fall upon the young ones.
5. Nevertheless Gabriel was able to withstand the effects of the lights. His ears hurt more than he could bear. I finally went without the walls and into our Suburban. After much driving he went to sleep. Through out the night he woke continually. After much contending with him Scott decided to spend the rest of the night within the car.
6. It came to pass that Jaden also had a restless sleep. Whenever Gabe would cry out he would begin to whine and wail and gnash his teeth. His late night had caused that he was having exceedingly sore night terrors.
Chapter 3
1. It came to pass that in the morning we awoke and began our labors of preparing breakfast for our family. We prepared both bacon and french toast and also fruit of every kind. We drank juice from oranges and apples. The meal was very pleasing
unto us.
2. And it came to pass that after we dressed ourselves we put on more layers of warm skins to keep us protected from the cold. We then journeyed outside the walls of the lodge to a great and marvelous hill which stood behind the place which we did stay.
3. It came to pass that the caretaker of the Camp did fashion a sled of most curious workmanship. For he had taken a chair and with his great skills and shortened the legs and fastened to the legs a pair of skies. He had made two of these fine sleds and we spend much time sliding down he hill. Gabriel was the only one who did not find joy in this. He was exceedingly fearful and did wail as we slid down the hill. Even after a second time his joy did not increase.
4. And when we had returned to the lodge we warmed ourself by the warm fire and cooked sm'ores which we did eat.
5. It came to pass that we did also fill or day with games and ping pong. The kids again ran about like wild lamanites; we did not stop them for their joy was exceedingly great.
6. And it came to pass that our reunion did come to a close and we packed up our belongings in preparations to leave.
7. This concludes the account of our journey to the camp Zarahemla. If I ever go again it will not be with a child who does have an ear infection.
Amen.
